15/01 : Fact SixI have such a strong personality, I sometimes scare people.
If I'm out in public and I'm feeling like myself, I quite often will have people either dodge out of the way or they will look at me like I just grew a second head. I talk to anyone at all. I can be standing in a line at the post office, for example, and I'll just start talking about things in my life or ask about the person next to me. The next thing I know, I have all of the people involved in the conversation. I have a natural knack for getting people to relax and just start talking.
I learned about people's deepest secrets in a forum where they would never imagine disclosing such personal information. They just tell me things. I kind of like having that sort of persuasion.
I haven't always been this way. When I was in school, I was rather shy. I didn't feel comfortable with who I was at all. After all, I was told repeatedly that I was broken. I never felt good enough or that I was worthy of attention in the positive light. Not that I received that, but it would have been nice. I didn't feel the least bit comfortable in my skin. I hated my body and the way that I felt.
Now, I don't give a rat's butt what people think overall. There are certain places and around certain people that I reserve myself. I don't do it because I'm not confident in who I am, I do it because I know I scare them on a certain level. I have to do a lot of toning down and a LOT of biting my tongue so I don't say something inappropriate. There are some people who I show my true self too, but that's more like my public personality.
When I am alone at home with my husband, he has the privilege of seeing the real me with hardly any masks on at all. Funny what trust will do.
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